“Life’s
too short to even care at all.”
~Young the Giant
At times I find myself being hurt by the
words that people say about me or about other people. Although it may seem like
bullying is not a problem in our school, but really it’s the physical bullying
that is uncommon in our school. Words can dig at a person just as much as a
knife could. When we say things that may seem funny to us, we don’t really know
how another person is feeling about the comment you made. I am a perfect
candidate for both the bully and the victim.
I know that I have hurt people with my
words and actions. Sometimes I don’t really realize how bad I feel, because in
that moment rage consumes you. You start to feel good about having the power to
have someone cower at your very words. I know that I have hurt lots of people
with my consuming rage; rage that arises from something as simple as a snide
comment that hasn’t been directly aimed at me.
On average, there are at least 31,000
attempted teen suicides per year in the United States. My little brother
recently showed me a video about a guy who was being bullied at school because
of his changed sexual orientation. I don’t understand how badly a person could
be hurt to want to harm themselves and their family. I’ve recently been reading
about suicides, and it really scares me. A LOT! I thought about all of the
people I’ve ever put down with my words. Though I didn’t physically bully
anybody, the number of people I’ve hurt couldn’t fit the number of fingers I
have on my hands. Many, many people and I have been hurt by my words.
I was recently eavesdropping on a
conversation between some very immature boys in math lab. My brother and I had
the same class that hour. He sat in the corner and I sat on the opposite side
of the classroom. These boys happened to be discussing “gay people,” but they
used more synonymous vulgar terms that I deem extremely inappropriate. Of
course, my little brother has a girlfriend. I sat behind them and listened as
the conversation rolled on and on about the people who they thought were gay in
our school. Really? Who does this kind of stuff in math lab? They looked around
the class and the guy in front of me pointed right at my little brother. You know
that rage I was talking about, well that immediately kicked in! I felt my ears
and my face turning red, and tears welling up in my eyes. The words I said were
extremely vulgar and inappropriate for anybody to say. I did cry when I was
yelling in his face. After class, I went right up to my little brother and told
him that I loved him no matter what he wants to be or what he wants to do in
his life. I was crying and telling him that I loved him over and over again. He
was giving me this really weird look, because he had no idea of what I was
talking about. I didn’t want him to do anything that would hurt him or my
family. I care very much about my little brothers and I’ll do anything and
everything for them. They’re practically my life; I don’t even know how I could
cope with the loss of either of them.
I had told him about the incident that
had happened in class, and the whole time I was crying. He was the one who
showed me this video and I figured that maybe he was considering suicide,
because of all of the people who always called him gay or weird. Personally, I
think my little brother is a pimp. He’s surrounded by girls all the time, and I
think they’re all in love with him. Anyway, my little brother looked at me and
said something like, “Sharon, I hope to be as loving and as smart as you. I
know what people say about me, but life’s too short to even care at all. They can
talk about me all they want, but that won’t change who I hang out with or who I
am. I’m not what they think I am and I know you know that. I don’t want you to
cry about what they say about me, because they can’t break me down with their
words. I love you for you and I know you love me for me.” I don’t know what you
feel about any of your little brothers, but I know that I LOVE mine. I cried
through that whole conversation. One time, he even told me that he looked up to
me.
I know that some people are just really
insecure about their own feelings, so they have to hurt others to feel some
sense of security. I learned that hurting someone else will always make you
hurt more. Trust me, I know! So, if you find yourself in the mood to bully
someone, look to yourself and think about how you’ll feel later. And please
watch what you say, because you never know who it’ll hurt.
